Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Douche Bags, C-rags, and Old Hags

So yesterday was quite the entertaining day for my inbox as everyone has read and I of course couldn't resist responding back for the third time. Lol, I have an addiction to having the last word and it is the one thing that keeps me from backing down in an argument even if I am wrong. Last night though however was not the case. Me and V went to karaoke and plowed out some songs but there was this one guy who was truly a male ass hat. I got there about 10 mins before V and we had a huge miscommunication. She thought we were meeting at her house and I thought we were meeting at the bar. So I sat down and began to flip through the song book when this homeless bag man strolls up and sits down with me. Now, if you have ever seen me you can imagine that you just dont do that. Lol, I'm dressed in all black, wearing a black hat, and blue gloves. I'm just too cool for school and I am also black myself. Lol, so I give the guy the look. You know which look I am talking about. The one where you are confused as to why someone who you dont know is either talking to you or sitting down by you. I laugh though and shrug it off and continue to flip through the book of songs. This is where he crosses the line. He gets up from around the table and sits next to me. Whoa, really? You are a homeless bag man rolling a cigg at the table and you sit next to me?????? In my head all I keep thinking is "I am going to kill V." By some sure grace she walks in the door and I scream at her. "V!!!!" Lol, I have never grabbed my stuff so fast in my life.
V gets plastered as normal and goes on stage and sings a song by the Vonbondies. There is this complete tool standing by me and he goes "Don't f-up my song. I love this show." and I am like whoa. When you go out with Clem you dont get heckled and if you do its by me. Lol, those are the rules. She gets off the stage and I am like dude V this guy is being a douche. (douche is my favorite bad word just in case you didnt know)
She is wasted by this point and says "I am going to get all MILF in his face." and by MILF she is referring to the woman who was on Real Chance at Love. I am like whoaaaa there tiger. Luckily it gets to the point in which V has to leave because she has work and no fight is had. I get home and start to settle down and my friend calls me and wants to come over its 1:30am sure why not. Lol, I love a good late night nesting eye. He brings me heart shaped cookies from Cheryl and Co and has the biggest grin on his face and says "This is for my Clemmy." I was like awwww. Alas he got none though lol.

The rest of the argument:
She then Says:

Listen, you're obviously got nothing better to do, and such a loser that you had to resort to swearing and nasty names because you obviously cannot think of better ways to use your tiny little brain. I just opened shop in January, so ya 7 sales, is not bad really, do the math jerk! You've been open since October last year, hope things go well for you and I certainly hope you don't treat your clients like this....so ya, I am not worried, considering card making is a hobby for me.....and our economy hasn't tanked just yet. Anyhow, keep up with the cute little fantasies about what my sex life is like, have fun.
BTW, you obviously give a shit what I wrote or you'd be smart enough never to write back!

And I then Say:
I've put more effort and money into my business then your silly card shop. I am sorry that you think that by some weird chance in heaven you are worth more than you are. So if you are bigger than me don't respond to this. Don't even open your mouth to breath. Lord knows it would only come out smelling like the crap you have spoke. You must remember that I was being polite when I first contacted you and you turned this into a bout of idiocy when you called me a loser. Oh, don't cry its okay that you dont know the difference between nice people and douche bags....I figured you would though seeing as you are a douche and it takes one to know one and in this case you didn't know the difference between your pee hole and your ass hole.
Oh and here are some numbers for you:
My Computer: $2,000
ADOBE Creative Master Suite: $2,499
Wacom Tablet: $180

So the next time you want to try and use me as a social tampon for your lack of awesomeness remember you are better than me and therefore dont have to respond to this. So when you go to sleep at night you can roll over and say "I won" and masturbate to the idea of it. All the while not responding to this because you are better than me and after all your economy isnt in a downward spiral right? I will remember to post you actually saying that somewhere. Lol, wait what am I saying you dont know your peehole from your asshole. Just remember you are better than me. Lol, now go wash out that dirty social hole you have so you can fuck off and leave this tampon alone. Lol, fucking idiot.

Here is my newest Easter Banner:


Mike said...

ooooo Clemmy, you are feisty, and I like it, haha. You go gurl!!!

Nemesis_Productions said...

Asshat is one of my favorite insults, because it's accurate and funny, all at the same time.

esque said...

Lol! Nice ending with Easter chicks!