So I think I am going crazy in a matter of words. Lol, my weird sleep schedule attached to my sometimes echo built work load is nothing. And by nothing I mean the way things are going its not weighing on my subconscious at all. But the thing that is making me paranoid is reading and research. I find myself googling like a crazy person in those late wee-night hours. Dreaming and hoping for something more magical then I already have. Like there is some hidden word that I haven't yet discovered that when I google will open up a whole new world of ideas and surroundings.I am always looking for new ideas or funny things to read. So its almost like a life line to the world. Which btw is snowing great guns outside.
I woke up this morning at an unknown time and went into the bathroom. Everything was pitch black yet I kept having this creepy feeling that something or someone else was in my apartment so I shut my bathroom door and sat in the bathroom in the dark. I kept having flash backs to "Saw One" in which the little girl kept telling her dad there was someone in her closet and he didn't listen. I stuck my hand out and ran my fingers over my closet door in the bathroom. The wooden blinds barely responded as I pressed on them.
I got done with what I was doing and flush and as normal washed my hands but I closed the bathroom door behind me. I felt better with the door closed but then I tried to talk myself into being "a big kid" and I opened the door. I didn't feel so good anymore. I turned around and stared into the bathroom and it was this gaping pitch black hole with a door frame. Something wasn't right and I could feel it. A surge of paranoia took over me and I raced into my bedroom and I shut my door.
As I laid back down to sleep all I kept thinking was I have to go here tomorrow and I must do this. My bedrooms temperature quickly dropped without the circulation of warm air and cold and I bundled up under two comforters. I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing and a familiar hello. What an odd thing paranoia is.